Life is change! If there wasn’t change, there wouldn’t be life. Change always involves some loss. The process of loss usually involves some aspects of the grieving process. There are of course different levels of loss. The top level may be losing a loved one, other levels may be losing a relationship, home, finances, job, health and so on.
Everyone is unique and grieves in a uniquely personal way. There are commonly experienced stages in the grieving process, although they may not be felt in the same order for everyone. They are:
Shock, denial, depression, guilt, anger, idealization, realism, acceptance, readjustment, personal growth
If a person is unable to work through the stages of grief, then they may become ‘stuck’ in one area of grief. They may become neurotically obsessed by their loss, and become deeply depressed.
Shock: Usually, the first stage of grief. In this stage the person almost seems to stop functioning, is numb, and incapable of doing anything constructive.
Denial: The grieving person can’t believe that what has happened is true. The denial process can be prolonged for people who separate from a living partner. Very often a rejected partner will deny to themselves that the relationship is over and may include depression.
Guilt: Guilt often occurs in the grieving person as to whether their actions could have been different or that they did something wrong.
Anger: There may be anger at the person who died or left or even anger at themselves or the circumstances that brought about certain events.
Idealisation: It is very common for people who have suffered loss through death or separation to idealise the lost partner. The grieving person temporarily forgets any faults or negative characteristics of the one who is gone and remembers everything positive and that they loved them without reservation. This is idealization and is normal.
Acceptance, readjustment and personal growth: The grieving person will hopefully, in time, come to terms with their grief and start to accept the reality of their loss. They will start to be more realistic about the person they have lost, and to accept the loss as a permanent reality. They are then free to move forward and to create a new life as an individual. Grief is a normal process and when the emotions are expressed freely, the person is able to move through the different stages.
Holistic Kinesiology, Holistic Living Counselling, Journey Therapy and Hynotherapy are tools to assist you to freely express and acknowledge your emotions and to move through the stages of the grieving process.